*sigh* .... *another sigh*... ...

I cryed last night... Do you know how does it feel when you go to sleep, hoping that you never wake up again, and feeling like sh*t every single morning, thinking "Why do I still alive?" and considering the suicide idea the whole day?... Try to guess how does I feel. I am lying to my friends. I am not OK at all. You know? I want to... end with this suffering. Epic promised that everything will get better for me, that I should see life as something beautiful, since we just have one... but Epic, I have been waiting for the dawn you promised for a long time ago and it never came... You know that you could be more usefull if you could at least try not to make me feel like nothing, ignoring my words? I admire you, and I just want... *cries* I just want people takes me serious for a once... I am not trying to stalk you, Epic... I want you to... I wish people could... ...
...Why no one cares about me? My friends never come to visit me, neither when they knew I tried to kill myself a year ago, those "friends" never came to see me, not even in Facebook... not even a little message... asking if I was ok... My family is not even worth of be called family... I am alone... In my room... hugging my Shadow Doll... with a glass of water... and tons of pills... *cries*
...Everyone is treating me like nothing, screaming or just making weird glares... And I am scared... I am scared of them, and scared of what can I do to myself if I find the courage to do what I want to do...
*sniff* No one loves Abril. Not even the Shadow doll that gives me his warm at nights and helps me to not feel so alone every day... One night I cryied, whispering: "Why? Please tell me that you at least like me" ... Infinitive silence from him...