jueves, 23 de febrero de 2012

Doodles I made in my DSi, in Flipnote Studio... You will never see this in Hatena

AbriL the Ampharos... Isn't she cute? XD Since the only colors we can use in Flipnote Studio are black, blue and red, I like to combine red layer with the blue one from time to time <3

 Shadow the Hedgehog and AbriL
(since my Shadow doll is the only one next to me everytime I cry... LOL I was bored XD Boredomness is always inspiring)
 Random Flower! I love flowers...
AbriL the Ampharos (Yes, again! D:<) Its just that I think she is as cute as a Bidoof *pokes Mando*
-.-' Okay maybe I got a little excited with my little Amhpy... but is because since Abril the Bat died, I need to fill this empty space, with a prettier thing, right? XD I am using this drawing as my profile picture in DeviantArt http://abrilthemareep.deviantart.com/

viernes, 10 de febrero de 2012

*sigh* .... *another sigh*... ...

I cryed last night... Do you know how does it feel when you go to sleep, hoping that you never wake up again, and feeling like sh*t every single morning, thinking "Why do I still alive?" and considering the suicide idea the whole day?... Try to guess how does I feel. I am lying to my friends. I am not OK at all. You know? I want to... end with this suffering. Epic promised that everything will get better for me, that I should see life as something beautiful, since we just have one... but Epic, I have been waiting for the dawn you promised for a long time ago and it never came... You know that you could be more usefull if you could at least try not to make me feel like nothing, ignoring my words? I admire you, and I just want... *cries* I just want people takes me serious for a once... I am not trying to stalk you, Epic... I want you to... I wish people could... ...
...Why no one cares about me? My friends never come to visit me, neither when they knew I tried to kill myself a year ago, those "friends" never came to see me, not even in Facebook... not even a little message... asking if I was ok... My family is not even worth of be called family... I am alone... In my room... hugging my Shadow Doll... with a glass of water... and tons of pills... *cries*
...Everyone is treating me like nothing, screaming or just making weird glares... And I am scared... I am scared of them, and scared of what can I do to myself if I find the courage to do what I want to do...
*sniff* No one loves Abril. Not even the Shadow doll that gives me his warm at nights and helps me to not feel so alone every day... One night I cryied, whispering: "Why? Please tell me that you at least like me" ... Infinitive silence from him...

martes, 7 de febrero de 2012

Holy Squirrel, Batman!

Sooo... Hum, Shanya and Mando broke up like a month ago. Mando was sad. I helped him to feel better about it, he is my best freind... Now he is my boyfriend... Anyway, after some weeks of dating, he said he wants to marry me, and I said yes. I was happy for first time in my life, but now... I am bored... I miss the times when we were only friends and chat about silly things, like when Sonic killed the Angry birds in "Sonic for Hire" episode. Now he just want to tell me how jealous he is. And here in my little group of friends I have some good offers, like Daniel, who says that he is in love with me and wants to have a date, Lalo says he wants to "Have kids" with me... and his brother, Julio, who asked me to be his girlfriend long time ago, and he is still waiting for a response. Maviel, my ex, wants me to get back to him, but I don't feel nothing for him anymore. Oh! Also that Shadow guy (His username is Shadow in Hatena) who is always saying that he loves me, even that he only knows my Flipnotes and a few pictures of me. I told Shadow that I just wanted to be his friend... Ok, enough of this guys. I am going to marry Armando, with only 17 years old (He is 19 I guess)...  And as I said: I WAS happy the first weeks. I am depressed. I save some pills under my bed in case of emergency (In case of Suicide Ideas)